Well, Thanksgiving is over and it’s full-on hell until Christmas (my job sucks this time of year). Please be Christmas Eve real soon!
I love this video from SNL. Not only are these lovely ladies all very funny but their singing voices aren’t bad either.
| — | Johnny Carson |
Illinois, my friend. :]
louisiana. eeewww
NORTH CAROLINA. HOLLA.
Maine
NEVADA.
Florida!
Love this ad. Good job D.J. Flooring!
My personal preference is for a little bit of carpeting as opposed to full-on hardwood flooring. ;)
Perhaps I’m a voyeur, I don’t know, but I love seeing how other people have their PCs and/or TVs set up.
| — | Homer Simpson |
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, ‘Kin ya swallar?’
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, ‘Kin ya breathe?’
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, ‘Ya know, I’d heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I ain’t never seed nobody do it!’
***No hillbillies or choking women were harmed in the making of this joke.
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from
Northwestern University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant
standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and found a
large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on
its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen,
thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant
trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his
teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, then trumpeted loudly, all the
while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant.
Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way
into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in
wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter
legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn’t the same elephant.
This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming stories.
